Friday, July 20, 2012

When Fear Steps Out of the Shadows - More Woo-Woo Stuff

I'm close to finishing Project B, my novel. (There are five to ten scenes left to be written. Five for sure to the ending of the book, then a few more scenes to be written once I go back and review the earlier scene layout and order.)

Sure, I'm excited. Thrilled. (I can hear the anticipation of those "Whoots" gearing up in my imagination.)

I've written a book before. Years ago, and it took me years upon years to write it. I had been editing the book, but set it aside to finish two current projects, which I think have stronger and broader reader appeal.

As I'm nearing the end of the book, in addition to feeling positive , I notice a panicky kind of fear building and spreading inside me.

Previously, I blogged about Talking to da Fear. That process helped me to deal with my uncertainties and to work with my fear, because like it or not those fear are a part of me, and dive into writing.

On The Fluent Self blog,  Havi Brooks shares information to be used when "you need some destuckification." Havi's post, You don't have to face your fear. Really. has worked well for me.

So, here goes, using Havi's technique, is early morning conversation with my fear.

Kathy's Fear: Now, look what you've done! The book is almost finished.

Kathy: Yes. That's something to be happy about, but you sound panicked and worried. It's difficult for me to focus when I feel so jittery and restless and scared inside.

I realize you're here to protect me, and even if I ignore you or try to bury you or chase you away, I know you'll return. You're here, for now because I'm allowing you to be, so let's talk about why you're here and what important things you have to to tell me.

Fear: Don't patronize me. If you finish the book, and even that's a big IF, you know it's not going to be good enough.

Kathy: It's a first draft, so there's still lots of work to be done.

Fear: How could you make yourself a target like that? Why would you make yourself vulnerable to criticism and judgement and ridicule.

Kathy: Wow, I can see you're really worked up. You really care about me because you are trying to protect me and shelter me.

Fear: You're such a private person, how could you leave part of you on the page like that?

Kathy: Every writer reveals or leaves a part of his or herself in their writing. That's what writers do, no matter what sort of characters they write about.

Fear: I want to keep you safe. I'm trying to save you from yourself, from keeping you from making a fool out of yourself.

Kathy: I understand and I appreciate that. How about I promise to have my writing edited and reviewed, and try not to look foolish on purpose. 

Fear: That doesn't mean you won't. BUT maybe those things will help.

Kathy: I appreciate you, and try not to appear too foolish and hope that you can express yourself in ways that aren't so discomforting or harmful to me our my goals.

Fear: Okay. Fine. I'm creeping back into the shadows now. It's way past time for my nap.

I highly recommend Havi Brook's Tools, such as her Emergency Calming Techniques, The Procrastination Dissolve-o-Matic, and Monster Manual and Coloring Book.

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